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the only higher power I believe in is my wife!
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most 12 step programs state that the only thing your higher power has to be (unfortunately, most people and the literature uses "God" as a short-hand) is something greater than yourself. it can be your wife, a friend, society...anything, just as long as it encourages you to reach out for help, advice and solutions to your problems instead of trying to "go it alone". so in that sense, your wife qualifies.
you're not alone and you don't need to do it the hard way, by white-knuckling it in isolation.
best of luck and hang in there.