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All I can say is good luck. I don't envy the road you're on. I hope you'll be able to show your wife - and yourself - a change for the good.
Therapy would be a good idea - any kind of support, whatever will work for you. We're all here too, of course, but I'd get a flesh-n-blood sort as well.
Keep writing - here or in the journals, whatever, just keep in contact.
Again... good luck.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.
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