05-21-2003, 09:22 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Junkie
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Re: Ever been the 'strangest thing' someone else saw?
Quote:
Originally posted by platypus
*Warning: Don't read this over a meal.*
I was driving my minivan, helping a friend move furniture. I came over a small rise to see a dead deer lying in the road right in front of me. No time to swerve so ran over it . Ba-dum-bum! Keep driving.
Began to psych myself out, though, thinking maybe there was some damage to the car. Is the car acting sluggish? What's that smell? Is something burning? After about 10 miles I get to the highway onramp. Doing 60 on the highway, car is handling a little wierd, accelerator response seems slow. Keep getting a whiff of something burning. Almost electrical in nature. Keep driving.
After another 5 miles or so a guy pulls up in the lane next to me, honking his horm to get my attention and pointing frantically to the rear of my van. Thinking maybe there actually is damage to my car, I pull over. He pulls over in front of me, and gets out. I roll down the window as this English gentleman runs up and asks, "Sir, do you know your draggin' a dog?" It all comes to me in a split second, and my answer is an immediate and definitive, "No, it's a deer." He is, needless to say, nonplussed.
I get out and follow this guy around to the back of my car. Appears the deer's ankle-toe thingy on his hind leg got caught between the axle and brake line. The back of my van is a bloody (literally) mess, to say nothing of the now somewhat hairless carcass. Appears 15 miles of flippity flopping on pavement at 60mph does not do a body good. So I cross my arms, and in my best Chevy Chase in 'Vacation' impersonation, I lament, "Poor little guy. Bet he was able to keep up for the first mile or two. Then his little legs just gave out." Hey, sometimes life just hands it to you. Then I remembered my camera was in the car. This guy must have thought I was an escaped mental patient. He left...in a hurry.
Oh, and that electrical smell? Deer brains + catalytic converter. Mmmm...tasty.
The next morning, I continued to be the strangest thing someone else saw...at the do-it-yourself car wash.
Can't imagine how many people I caused to do a double-take and exclaim, "What the fu...?!?" Makes me smile just to think about it.
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Gross man, but nice punch for the Chevy Chase quote! 
Deer guts and cat. converters  
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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster...
--Acknowledge your weaknesses--
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