platypus

*Warning: Don't read this over a meal.*

I was driving my minivan, helping a friend move furniture. I came over a small rise to see a dead deer lying in the road right in front of me. No time to swerve so ran over it . Ba-dum-bum! Keep driving.

Began to psych myself out, though, thinking maybe there was some damage to the car. Is the car acting sluggish? What's that smell? Is something burning? After about 10 miles I get to the highway onramp. Doing 60 on the highway, car is handling a little wierd, accelerator response seems slow. Keep getting a whiff of something burning. Almost electrical in nature. Keep driving.

After another 5 miles or so a guy pulls up in the lane next to me, honking his horm to get my attention and pointing frantically to the rear of my van. Thinking maybe there actually is damage to my car, I pull over. He pulls over in front of me, and gets out. I roll down the window as this English gentleman runs up and asks, "Sir, do you know your draggin' a dog?" It all comes to me in a split second, and my answer is an immediate and definitive, "No, it's a deer." He is, needless to say, nonplussed.

I get out and follow this guy around to the back of my car. Appears the deer's ankle-toe thingy on his hind leg got caught between the axle and brake line. The back of my van is a bloody (literally) mess, to say nothing of the now somewhat hairless carcass. Appears 15 miles of flippity flopping on pavement at 60mph does not do a body good. So I cross my arms, and in my best Chevy Chase in 'Vacation' impersonation, I lament, "Poor little guy. Bet he was able to keep up for the first mile or two. Then his little legs just gave out." Hey, sometimes life just hands it to you. Then I remembered my camera was in the car. This guy must have thought I was an escaped mental patient. He left...in a hurry.

Oh, and that electrical smell? Deer brains + catalytic converter. Mmmm...tasty.

The next morning, I continued to be the strangest thing someone else saw...at the do-it-yourself car wash.

Can't imagine how many people I caused to do a double-take and exclaim, "What the fu...?!?" Makes me smile just to think about it.

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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

platypus

I know what you mean Bones. I kept saying to myself, "This isn't happening. It's too weird." Then I'd crack up laughing because of the insanity of it all. Guess I could post some of the shots, but they are pretty gory. Bambi isn't lookin' too good.

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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

-Ever-

Gross man, but nice punch for the Chevy Chase quote!
Deer guts and cat. converters

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Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding and valuing of life. A vision that inspires you to live and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel buried in dark layers of soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home And experience of this place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself as a gamemaster...
--Acknowledge your weaknesses--

DEI37

I want to see the pics. Those would rock!

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Diablo

Haha, that's hilarious. Nice job.

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queef queef queef queef queef queef queef VAGINAPHONE!

QuasiMojo

Ah KNOW....that THAT night that I ran down the street in the devil mask...stopping traffic and calling attention to theee...POlice department WAS....Thee strangest thing someone else saw!

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AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

Eviltree

hehe, that was terribly funny. I laughed many a laugh

Meridae'n

ha ha, nice work platypus.

I was once given the 'strangest thing i ever saw' title when i put $4.80 worth of 20 cent coins in my foreskin to win a keyring at uni...

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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

Fly

i don't know if they would rock but.....

i'd like to see them too.

*i really don't know why either*

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

bondagegirl

I was thinking the same thing.... for some strange reason I'm curious.

That chevy chase line has got to be one of my favorites from that movie and of all time!

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

Lebell

Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing the picture of that one myself.

Pretty funny story tho.

Best I can say is I used to dress up NOT on halloween

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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iRtehCrispeh

Holy shit thas funny!!! i wanna see that deer 2!


BTW bondagegirl you stole what i was gonna use as my avitar o well im just 2 slow!

bondagegirl

sorry, i'm glad to see another JTHM fan though

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

platypus

Allright you bloodthirsty heathens, it's feeding time.

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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

yangwar

Don't know about NY but out here in the country we call that free sausage and deer steaks! You kill it, it's yours!

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My mouth is a word factory.

bondagegirl

wow that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But the tongue sticking out kind of got to me. The poor thing... so when you took that pic, was the leg still stuck to your car? So you had to go under the car and un stick the deer? I think that would have been the worst part. Did you just leave it there?

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"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today."

PsychoBob

Well, I became the strangest thing people have seen when I ate a loogie off of a lunch room table at school that someone else spat onto the table

GakFace

That, i did not know about you.....

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RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.