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JustJess · 08-26-2005, 07:33 AM

Quadro happens to be GREAT about helping with things. Lately (past several months) he's been the one to pick up the laundry and do the vacuuming most of the time. He'll clean the toilet because it looks like it needs it. We take actual turns on doing dishes, but if I'm not around for my turn, he'll do them anyway, and ALWAYS does them when I cook (he doesn't cook much, doesn't know how). I usually only have to take out the garbage when he's not home on garbage nights, or he's already doing some other household chore. He makes our lunches, I iron work clothes (usually only his, mine don't need it).

I'm not a perfect clean-freak or anything, but even with how much he tries with stuff mentioned above, I still get resentful at times. I don't want to live a typical wife role, and I'm pretty oversensitive to it. So yes, he hears some complaints. Maybe you hear these things... maybe think about it a little... For instance... If you're going to make the bed (and all we do is pull the covers up neatly), then pay attention to what you're doing. Actually pull them up all the way, and make sure the damned quilt is even! Don't bother making the excuse that "I can't pack/fold/etc like you can, and you'll just do it over again anyway, so you should do it". Folding a shirt is not rocket science. Stop making me be your mother. If I (or your wife/SO) have just made the effort to pick everything up and clear the clutter that built up, don't empty your work bag or gym bag or whatever in the middle of the floor. Don't leave your bag in general in the middle of the floor - are you trying to trip me or something?? If you're being so nice as to clear the clutter... clear my shit too. I clear yours.

Basically, it comes down to one sentence(apologies for the rambling)... if we're splitting the majority of the chores, as in a situation like ours in which we are financially similar, don't make me be your mother. Even if it makes sense for one person to be mainly responsible for household chores... Have some common sense, and common courtesy. They are working at making the house look nice for you and the family and themselves. They are not your mother. Don't treat them like they are.
If you don't, and you still get bitching... I'd say it's her issue, not yours.

*Disclaimer: Due to high levels of sensitivity on the topic, I will not claim that all complaints made by moi are totally valid. Some are, however.

08-26-2005, 07:33 AM	#19 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Quadro happens to be GREAT about helping with things. Lately (past several months) he's been the one to pick up the laundry and do the vacuuming most of the time. He'll clean the toilet because it looks like it needs it. We take actual turns on doing dishes, but if I'm not around for my turn, he'll do them anyway, and ALWAYS does them when I cook (he doesn't cook much, doesn't know how). I usually only have to take out the garbage when he's not home on garbage nights, or he's already doing some other household chore. He makes our lunches, I iron work clothes (usually only his, mine don't need it). I'm not a perfect clean-freak or anything, but even with how much he tries with stuff mentioned above, I still get resentful at times. I don't want to live a typical wife role, and I'm pretty oversensitive to it. So yes, he hears some complaints. Maybe you hear these things... maybe think about it a little... For instance... If you're going to make the bed (and all we do is pull the covers up neatly), then pay attention to what you're doing. Actually pull them up all the way, and make sure the damned quilt is even! Don't bother making the excuse that "I can't pack/fold/etc like you can, and you'll just do it over again anyway, so you should do it". Folding a shirt is not rocket science. Stop making me be your mother. If I (or your wife/SO) have just made the effort to pick everything up and clear the clutter that built up, don't empty your work bag or gym bag or whatever in the middle of the floor. Don't leave your bag in general in the middle of the floor - are you trying to trip me or something?? If you're being so nice as to clear the clutter... clear my shit too. I clear yours. Basically, it comes down to one sentence(apologies for the rambling)... if we're splitting the majority of the chores, as in a situation like ours in which we are financially similar, don't make me be your mother. Even if it makes sense for one person to be mainly responsible for household chores... Have some common sense, and common courtesy. They are working at making the house look nice for you and the family and themselves. They are not your mother. Don't treat them like they are. If you don't, and you still get bitching... I'd say it's her issue, not yours. *Disclaimer: Due to high levels of sensitivity on the topic, I will not claim that all complaints made by moi are totally valid. Some are, however. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.