shesus

Now that I have finished my Master's and don't have to write research papers anymore, I want to continue my creative writing. My goal is to achieve writing that lets the reader feel emotions, empathize with characters, and visualize settings. My ultimate goal is to write a story so powerful it will make one weak in the knees. However, I have a ways to go. Anyway, I will use this thread to post my quick writes for constructive criticism.

My first is focused on setting. Let me know what you think.

The Oasis

It was another night and the same spot. The men were shooting pool, throwing darts, or perched on barstools watching the game. They all had their drinks and smokes in hand. The door would open and a lady might enter to offer a little distraction. However, women rarely came into the musty bars such as this. This place was not like the pretentious bars down the street. The air in here was smoky from the patron's smoked cigars and cigarettes, not the smoke machines. The bartender was not another blonde with pushed-up breasts and the patrons were not the Casanovas out for an easy lay. The music was from an ancient jukebox, not a DJ. The songs were mostly country and the men usually listened to these as they reminisced about their lost loves and missed opportunities. This was their oasis from life, a place where escape from life and responsibilities was possible for a while.

__________________
Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company