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Originally Posted by bad jane
assuming the info in his posts is accurate--she is seperated and in the process of divorcing her husband, where do you get this assumption? she's messed up in the head and playing games at his expense?
i'm not saying this relationship is destined for paradise, but i don't see anything in his posts to indicate it's doomed either :rolleyes: or that this woman is somehow dysfunctional or evil because she just happens to be going through a divorce.
i was in this woman's shoes not that long ago. going through a divorce and happened to meet a great guy. i wasn't looking for a relationship, the relationship found me. that's not to say i didn't come out of my divorce with a bit more baggage than the day i started it--but not once did i play any sort of game with my bf. and i was very far from being messed up in the head. the majority of my issues were dealt with long before the actual divorce process started--that's the reason we were getting divorced. if there was a chance in hell things would have worked, i'd have stuck it out. when the marriage hit rock bottom and i knew there wasn't hope, i knew it was time to get out. while figuring [i
that[/i] out, i mourned the loss of my marriage and the happily ever after life i'd envisioned on my wedding day.
some of these posts make it sound like divorce happens overnight and it doesn't. it's a process and it takes time to even get to the point where you start looking at divorce as an option. then you have the waiting on paperwork, splitting up the assets and the sluggish court system to deal with. that is lots of time for a person to deal with the issues they may have regarding their marriage and it's demise.
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I spoke from my own personal experiences having been in quite a few relationships with married and "seperated" women.
But yes seperated and waiting for a divorce is different than just seperated (as I know from myself this past year)...... but it is impossible not to have baggage and to be going through a seperation/divorce and not have issues that affect the other person (whether consciously or sub). Hence the word "games"..... I didn't mean she would intentionally play them.... but unless she is 100% secure in herself and the situation, he will be affected.
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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"
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