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Mondak · 08-13-2005, 04:58 PM

It is pretty easy to come up with the fact that you have it all figured out and you are ready to move to the next stage. For whatever your reasons, that next stage must be marriage. The thing is that you really need to know yourself before you can ever hope to know who you should spend the rest of your life with.

For example, would you be comfortable with your gal reading or better yet you saying word for word what you wrote here? How about in other threads or other places on the internet? Now I don't think there is anything wrong with what you wrote, but if there is even a shred of shame or doubt about it, don't you think that might be worth investigating before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone? Successful relationships stem from having a true partner. Someone who you can be yourself around no matter what.

Don't get married for sex or becuase she is beautiful or sweet. Explore your true feelings on the world's religions for example and share your findings with her. See what she thinks of what you came up with and maybe that can tell you if you are truely compatable. Don't follow a religion becase others seem very sure it is right, try to find something meaningful and substantial to base your faith on.

I use religion as an example here, but there are a few big things people really need worked out in very plain english before even considering marrage. Not what you think she wants to hear, but what you really think. Politics, money, jobs, offspring, religion, lifestyle, and goals should be big ones. Don't know your goals in life? Think you will figure it out after you get married? What if the person you decide to marry doesn't really agree with those goals or won't be agreeable to you fufilling them? One of you gets their way and the other one is bitter forever. What about marrying a person who shares your same goals and dreams? How does that sound?

Give it some time (a lot) and do your own exporations and searches within. You'll find the answers, but they are really deep down and difficult to face.

08-13-2005, 04:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mondak Industrialist Location: Southern California	It is pretty easy to come up with the fact that you have it all figured out and you are ready to move to the next stage. For whatever your reasons, that next stage must be marriage. The thing is that you really need to know yourself before you can ever hope to know who you should spend the rest of your life with. For example, would you be comfortable with your gal reading or better yet you saying word for word what you wrote here? How about in other threads or other places on the internet? Now I don't think there is anything wrong with what you wrote, but if there is even a shred of shame or doubt about it, don't you think that might be worth investigating before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone? Successful relationships stem from having a true partner. Someone who you can be yourself around no matter what. Don't get married for sex or becuase she is beautiful or sweet. Explore your true feelings on the world's religions for example and share your findings with her. See what she thinks of what you came up with and maybe that can tell you if you are truely compatable. Don't follow a religion becase others seem very sure it is right, try to find something meaningful and substantial to base your faith on. I use religion as an example here, but there are a few big things people really need worked out in very plain english before even considering marrage. Not what you think she wants to hear, but what you really think. Politics, money, jobs, offspring, religion, lifestyle, and goals should be big ones. Don't know your goals in life? Think you will figure it out after you get married? What if the person you decide to marry doesn't really agree with those goals or won't be agreeable to you fufilling them? One of you gets their way and the other one is bitter forever. What about marrying a person who shares your same goals and dreams? How does that sound? Give it some time (a lot) and do your own exporations and searches within. You'll find the answers, but they are really deep down and difficult to face. __________________ All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)