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kangaeru · 08-11-2005, 07:50 AM

I've got a desk job and a lot of time this summer, so I've dabbled in this stuff. Although we have some great success stories here, in general, I have found if people are online and looking for dates, its usually for a reason. Well balanced, genuine, friendly people (who you also have to find attractive) are rare-- I never found one. I never even met any of the people who contacted me / I contacted because after chatting with them on the phone they'd always have some kind of deal breaker which just nixed the whole thing for me.

Tom, the best advice I can offer you if you want to get a girl, is practice talking to them everywhere you go. Always say something extra, make a comment, nothing sleazy, but just get them talking. At starbucks, the girl at the counter at the gym, the girl who opens a changing room door for you at the mall. These times are when you find out questions and strategies that work with women--it doesn't matter if you make mistakes here because they're basically freebies. You've got to learn somehow. The more you talk to them and get comfortable with it, the easier it will be for you to stay yourself around girls you're interested in, and it becomes much easier to meet people.

If everytime you're talking to a girl you're interested in, it's like being up to bat with 2 outs, down by one in the bottom of the 9th, you're never going to get anywhere because the pressure you put on yourself is crushing. In addition to looking online, I'd recommend doing stuff like that to help you out with your shyness, and to ease yourself into being able to meet people comfortably when you're face to face.

By the way, I'm not advocating flirting with every girl you see. I'm just saying, say something. It breaks the ice with a total stranger, and the more you do it, the more comfortable you get. Even just 1 comment which makes them giggle or starts them talking or something, you'll be amazed how little it takes to start just a little chit chat. That's all the first step in dating usually is, little chit chat. Doesn't matter if you've got all these other qualities if you're not able to get enough speed to get off the ground, know what I mean? Gotta focus on the chain of events and work from initial stuff.

08-11-2005, 07:50 AM	#12 (permalink)
kangaeru Crazy Location: on the road to where I want to be...	I've got a desk job and a lot of time this summer, so I've dabbled in this stuff. Although we have some great success stories here, in general, I have found if people are online and looking for dates, its usually for a reason. Well balanced, genuine, friendly people (who you also have to find attractive) are rare-- I never found one. I never even met any of the people who contacted me / I contacted because after chatting with them on the phone they'd always have some kind of deal breaker which just nixed the whole thing for me. Tom, the best advice I can offer you if you want to get a girl, is practice talking to them everywhere you go. Always say something extra, make a comment, nothing sleazy, but just get them talking. At starbucks, the girl at the counter at the gym, the girl who opens a changing room door for you at the mall. These times are when you find out questions and strategies that work with women--it doesn't matter if you make mistakes here because they're basically freebies. You've got to learn somehow. The more you talk to them and get comfortable with it, the easier it will be for you to stay yourself around girls you're interested in, and it becomes much easier to meet people. If everytime you're talking to a girl you're interested in, it's like being up to bat with 2 outs, down by one in the bottom of the 9th, you're never going to get anywhere because the pressure you put on yourself is crushing. In addition to looking online, I'd recommend doing stuff like that to help you out with your shyness, and to ease yourself into being able to meet people comfortably when you're face to face. By the way, I'm not advocating flirting with every girl you see. I'm just saying, say something. It breaks the ice with a total stranger, and the more you do it, the more comfortable you get. Even just 1 comment which makes them giggle or starts them talking or something, you'll be amazed how little it takes to start just a little chit chat. That's all the first step in dating usually is, little chit chat. Doesn't matter if you've got all these other qualities if you're not able to get enough speed to get off the ground, know what I mean? Gotta focus on the chain of events and work from initial stuff. __________________ Dont be afraid to change who you are for what you could become Last edited by kangaeru; 08-11-2005 at 09:36 AM..