ok here it is...you've got to sell a sex toy and you've got to make up a funny sales pitch for your product.
Sample:
The Give A Dog A Bone Dildo.
It dices. It slices. It defeats evil empires!!
It goes from go to WOAH in thirty seconds, or your money back.
Call now and we'll include a studded leash and collar.
Want more? Then go find a real penis, this is all we can offer with this dildo.