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I was an instructional aide for three years and during that time, the kids (6th-8th graders) and I built up quite a level of trust to the point that they'd come to me first before going to the more authorative figures.
The one thing that I constantly told them and it DID sink in was: you receive what you put out there. No one is responsible for those bad grades, those conflicts but yourself and if you don't want those things, then make an effort to change it. Teachers don't hand out bad grades, you earned them. That kid didn't MAKE you hit them, you chose to.
It takes some patience and not backing off in saying these things. Everytime they came to me, I turned it around to make them think about what they were saying.
I am thrilled that of the kids who were so ornery, so dramatic and so lost, those that I have been in contact with are now in High School and excelling-including one kid, Jimmie, who was held back in 7th grade. He is now going into 10th and when we spoke in June, he had been getting A's and B's with a couple of C's. Dominique, one of my first kids, is heading for college in Florida. Another, last we spoke, was working for a soccer scholarship. These were kids that, upon first meeting them, gave the impression they'd never even graduate.
Show them respect, show them you DO care where they end up and reiterate where they end up is their choice alone. And never ever make excuses for them, but be an advocate.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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