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Being a child of divorced parents at age 10, I can say that two happy parents split apart are much better than them together. And yes, be civil. I have found that in my life, filled with divorced couples, the screwed up kids are those of uncivil parents. What I would recommend is yes, counselling, but dont settle for the *two weekends out of the month* crap. Dads always get saddled with that, and from my experiences, the mothers can be worse at raising a child. Do the week on week off thing, its better for the child, or else you, the father, might end up being phased out. Don't let her do that to you. She seems manipulative and I'm sure, as it might have been your intention, she has the aire of a horrid mother. I'm probably wrong, but I wouldn't let her have custody of your son. The relationship seems a dying one, but it might be salvagable. Just think about your son. He will be the greatest thing in your life, so don't lose him in trying to keep her.
Best of Luck,
Mouse
P.S: I'm rooting for you man, fathers need to be in their child's life more.
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"This Existence is Solitary, for I am known to everyone but known by noone"
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