Thanks for all the replies, it feels nice to know I'm not the only one. I have indeed tried to have sex with men a few times. Nice men that I really like. Men that
knows how to make sweet lovin' to a woman. It has never gone further than oral, because I felt NOTHING. It could just as well have been my doctor that was fondling my breasts. I'm not totally dead though, I masturbate almost daily and climax every time. So the wiring is there, but it seems I'm the only one who can activate it. So if there is something that can be fixed it's probably in my head.
It would be nice to find a special someone to grow old with and all that sentimental crap, because I don't want to be lonely, but I don't
need a SO like some of my friends seem to do. (I swear, some of them can't stay single for even a week!)
The only reason I'd be wanting kids would be to stop my mum nagging about grandkids, but that's not reason enough for a comittment like that.
I don't know if I feel less tension than normal people because I don't have anything to compare with. There is the tension of wanting to do and feel what everyone else is doing and feeling though.
Meh. I should just stop angsting about this and be happy with what I have.