Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - my sister is being disobedient and disrespectful, could be drugs?

snowy · 08-07-2005, 07:41 AM

I have to second everyone who's said--you are her BROTHER, not her PARENT. Her behavior isn't your responsibility. If you're concerned, talk to your PARENT about it so that they can do their job, because it's NOT YOURS. Trying to parent your sister is just going to piss her off, and your relationship with her is already sounding pretty fragile.

You need to stop thinking of your sister as a kid and start thinking of her as a peer. She is 15 and fully capable of making her own decisions and paying the consequences for her actions. While they may not be the best ones, or the ones that you yourself would make, the only thing you can do is offer your support, your ear, and try to be understanding if and when your sister decides to open up to you.

Attempting to interfere in a 15-year-old's life is just going to piss her off more. In her mind, she's already "grown up." Being there for her if/when she falls is far more important than trying to control her--we all have to make our own mistakes and learn from them. Like LPM said, weed isn't going to kill her, and a lot of us spent huge amounts of time in our rooms when we were 15. I had my mother ask me when I was 13 whether or not I was doing drugs because I spent so much time in my room. Instead I was forced to reveal that--gasp!--I was writing fanfiction. It's more than likely that whatever your sister is up to in her room--it's harmless.

Let your mom decide how to punish her/enforce the rules. Don't get involved. Don't offer to disconnect her internet. Don't snoop. Doing these things will just ruin her relationship with you.

Now, you say you "don't care" what your sister is up to, yet by your interference one thing immediately becomes obvious--you do care. But realize you are not her father. You are her brother. You have the ability to become her peer and become someone she talks to. Do that. Be cool. It may be hard to do, but it's what you need to do--otherwise you're going to end up with a sister who dislikes you.

08-07-2005, 07:41 AM	#10 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I have to second everyone who's said--you are her BROTHER, not her PARENT. Her behavior isn't your responsibility. If you're concerned, talk to your PARENT about it so that they can do their job, because it's NOT YOURS. Trying to parent your sister is just going to piss her off, and your relationship with her is already sounding pretty fragile. You need to stop thinking of your sister as a kid and start thinking of her as a peer. She is 15 and fully capable of making her own decisions and paying the consequences for her actions. While they may not be the best ones, or the ones that you yourself would make, the only thing you can do is offer your support, your ear, and try to be understanding if and when your sister decides to open up to you. Attempting to interfere in a 15-year-old's life is just going to piss her off more. In her mind, she's already "grown up." Being there for her if/when she falls is far more important than trying to control her--we all have to make our own mistakes and learn from them. Like LPM said, weed isn't going to kill her, and a lot of us spent huge amounts of time in our rooms when we were 15. I had my mother ask me when I was 13 whether or not I was doing drugs because I spent so much time in my room. Instead I was forced to reveal that--gasp!--I was writing fanfiction. It's more than likely that whatever your sister is up to in her room--it's harmless. Let your mom decide how to punish her/enforce the rules. Don't get involved. Don't offer to disconnect her internet. Don't snoop. Doing these things will just ruin her relationship with you. Now, you say you "don't care" what your sister is up to, yet by your interference one thing immediately becomes obvious--you do care. But realize you are not her father. You are her brother. You have the ability to become her peer and become someone she talks to. Do that. Be cool. It may be hard to do, but it's what you need to do--otherwise you're going to end up with a sister who dislikes you. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau