Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How do I tell my father that I need to get the fark outta here?

la petite moi · 08-07-2005, 07:39 AM

I think writing a letter is the easy way out, and like others have implied, a very passive way of "talking" to your dad. I just moved out of my parents' house recently, too. My parents are both very controlling people, and VERY "frugal" so they thought it was ludicrous that I would move out and "waste" money in a different city (four hours away) to be on my own. I'm also "just a kid"- turned 19 in April. Everytime I would bring it up in conversation (like you've been doing- without REAL plans, etc), they'd blow me off.

My dad has a temper too. My mom is overly critical of everything I do. My dad is also a very lonely guy because he works all the time, and has no real "friends" outside of work. My mom likes to leave him while she goes on long vacations to the mountains or out of the country. I couldn't deal with my home life, so finally, I told my mom- "I applied at another college in another town. I'm going to be moving to that town this summer, and working/living with nwlinkvxd." Now, I didn't think her reaction would be bad- it wasn't. But I was worried about my dad, because he always likes doing stuff with me, and is generally the protective dad type. I put off telling him, all the while making plans, and one day the topic was heading in that direction, and the time seemed right, so I just slipped in that "yeah I'm going to be moving to [town name] this summer." He looked at me sadly, but didn't protest. Just asked why I would want to spend money on a place when my parents' house was just fine.

I would say, make a plan. Get your resources together. Put your back into work, save up as much as you can, research everything you'll need to have/do once you're on your own...and then talk to him face-to-face.

And really, you don't need to go into all this detail with him. Bringing up the past with him may just bring back bad memories (referring to the stepdad thing and coming to the rescue bit). You are 2 years over 18, and by the time you get everything together, you'll probably be 21. That is a legal adult +3 years! Even if it seems he won't understand you moving out, he probably will. He's your dad, and even if you don't say it all the time, he knows you love him. And once you move out, your relationship might even strengthen.

08-07-2005, 07:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	I think writing a letter is the easy way out, and like others have implied, a very passive way of "talking" to your dad. I just moved out of my parents' house recently, too. My parents are both very controlling people, and VERY "frugal" so they thought it was ludicrous that I would move out and "waste" money in a different city (four hours away) to be on my own. I'm also "just a kid"- turned 19 in April. Everytime I would bring it up in conversation (like you've been doing- without REAL plans, etc), they'd blow me off. My dad has a temper too. My mom is overly critical of everything I do. My dad is also a very lonely guy because he works all the time, and has no real "friends" outside of work. My mom likes to leave him while she goes on long vacations to the mountains or out of the country. I couldn't deal with my home life, so finally, I told my mom- "I applied at another college in another town. I'm going to be moving to that town this summer, and working/living with nwlinkvxd." Now, I didn't think her reaction would be bad- it wasn't. But I was worried about my dad, because he always likes doing stuff with me, and is generally the protective dad type. I put off telling him, all the while making plans, and one day the topic was heading in that direction, and the time seemed right, so I just slipped in that "yeah I'm going to be moving to [town name] this summer." He looked at me sadly, but didn't protest. Just asked why I would want to spend money on a place when my parents' house was just fine. I would say, make a plan. Get your resources together. Put your back into work, save up as much as you can, research everything you'll need to have/do once you're on your own...and then talk to him face-to-face. And really, you don't need to go into all this detail with him. Bringing up the past with him may just bring back bad memories (referring to the stepdad thing and coming to the rescue bit). You are 2 years over 18, and by the time you get everything together, you'll probably be 21. That is a legal adult +3 years! Even if it seems he won't understand you moving out, he probably will. He's your dad, and even if you don't say it all the time, he knows you love him. And once you move out, your relationship might even strengthen. Last edited by la petite moi; 08-07-2005 at 07:50 AM..