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keiichi451 · 08-06-2005, 11:16 PM

Slippery slope... I really feel dating your best friend could be the best thing ever, but as stated earlier, it's also dangerous.

My best friend and I were close for many years (since HS, and I've graduated college already now). Anyway, we liked each other back then, were too shy to do anything about it. And eventually, swept into relationships with other people. Her relationship fell apart first (probably after about 1.5 years), and mine followed suit about a year later (3.5 years). Anyway, she made it clear she wanted to be with me after I broke it off with my ex. I really liked her, however, I wasn't quite ready to jump back onto the relationship wagon yet.

We did go on several unannounced dates, and pretty much spent all day together every day. However, her research took her away for a summer... (About 2.5 months had passed) I was about ready to take the next step with her and make it official. But when she got to the university she was doing summer research at, I became a very secondary priority. She made new friends and I guess started eyeing a French guy there.

I didn't know about him yet, but I did feel something was off, because I was so ignored. Long story short, I didn't act quick enough and she was snatched away from me.

Our friendship has had it's ups and major downs since that time. I still took care of her since that time (~ 1 year now). Sometimes I'd get so frustated... She'd always tell me that I'm so important, that she couldn't live without me, and she could do without him. Various other things have been done to lead me on... Yet, everyday I look and guess what? She still hasn't left him.

Anyway, recently I decided to stand up for myself (which I've tried before but she always tried to avoid it), and I asked her to choose me or him. Regardless of the choice, at least it would be settled, no?

Well... she chose to stay with him. Our friendship is pretty much sprawled out on the rocks, dying... we haven't talked for awhile (usually it was hours / day)

I'm not so much sad in the way that I cry everyday... but the feeling of boredum or emptiness has really taken full control of me. Not only did I lose a potential mate, but a friend that was always there.

I'm not sure I really have a lesson for you, I guess I could come up with some:
- act quickly if the time is right
- if you fail, you risk everything
- don't let a girl's indecision ruin your friendship?
(plenty more available, I think)

Just putting this out there, to make myself feel a bit better by sharing, and to give you readers something to consider.

good luck.

08-06-2005, 11:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
keiichi451 Upright	Slippery slope... I really feel dating your best friend could be the best thing ever, but as stated earlier, it's also dangerous. My best friend and I were close for many years (since HS, and I've graduated college already now). Anyway, we liked each other back then, were too shy to do anything about it. And eventually, swept into relationships with other people. Her relationship fell apart first (probably after about 1.5 years), and mine followed suit about a year later (3.5 years). Anyway, she made it clear she wanted to be with me after I broke it off with my ex. I really liked her, however, I wasn't quite ready to jump back onto the relationship wagon yet. We did go on several unannounced dates, and pretty much spent all day together every day. However, her research took her away for a summer... (About 2.5 months had passed) I was about ready to take the next step with her and make it official. But when she got to the university she was doing summer research at, I became a very secondary priority. She made new friends and I guess started eyeing a French guy there. I didn't know about him yet, but I did feel something was off, because I was so ignored. Long story short, I didn't act quick enough and she was snatched away from me. Our friendship has had it's ups and major downs since that time. I still took care of her since that time (~ 1 year now). Sometimes I'd get so frustated... She'd always tell me that I'm so important, that she couldn't live without me, and she could do without him. Various other things have been done to lead me on... Yet, everyday I look and guess what? She still hasn't left him. Anyway, recently I decided to stand up for myself (which I've tried before but she always tried to avoid it), and I asked her to choose me or him. Regardless of the choice, at least it would be settled, no? Well... she chose to stay with him. Our friendship is pretty much sprawled out on the rocks, dying... we haven't talked for awhile (usually it was hours / day) I'm not so much sad in the way that I cry everyday... but the feeling of boredum or emptiness has really taken full control of me. Not only did I lose a potential mate, but a friend that was always there. I'm not sure I really have a lesson for you, I guess I could come up with some: - act quickly if the time is right - if you fail, you risk everything - don't let a girl's indecision ruin your friendship? (plenty more available, I think) Just putting this out there, to make myself feel a bit better by sharing, and to give you readers something to consider. good luck.