Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - my sister is being disobedient and disrespectful, could be drugs?

1337haxor · 08-05-2005, 06:13 PM

Hey,
I'm not sure how to handle this or even if I should even get involved any more then I am now.

Background: I'm 20, my sister is 15 and in a ska band, my mom doesn't speak any english, my dad hasn't been home for 3 years and my mom is the only who speaks with him

Okay, so my sister is always out with her friends. My mom doesn't have a problem with that and lets her out all the time with her friends or band. Now the problem is, she gets really snappy when my mom asks where she's going. Sometimes she will tell her and sometimes she will just go. She also comes home really late and never calls to tell my mom shes coming home late and never calls to say where she is. My mom tries calling and my sister ignores the phone calls. When she does come home in the middle of the night, my mom gets angry asking why she didn't pick up the phone, etc. My sister just starts getting snappy again and says she didn't feel like it, its none of her business, etc. My mom threatens to not let her out and she just starts bitching how she's controlling and never lets her do anything.

Now, I've met some of her friends and most of them seem okay. I knew some of them when I was still in high school. Now, some of her other friends (mainly her band I think) seem a lil shady. They were over one day and I didn't think much of it, but some of my friends were over and they were like "those are your sister's stoner friends?". I'm like "stoner friends?". They basically told me that they looked just like the type that be all into drugs and stuff. I thought about it for abit and the way they acted, dressed, etc reminded me a lot of a group I sort of quasi knew in high school and I definately knew they were big pot / drug users.

My sister is also always in her room with the door closed. I usually knock before entering and she's usually chatting online like crazy or doing something with her music notes. I don't have her IMs monitored, and I probably won't since I wouldn't like someone snooping on my IM while home. As a source of money, my sister just has money saved up from gifts and stuff so she usually doesn't hit my mom up for money. However, her cell phone is paid for by my mom and her computer and internet privileages are controlled by me.

I've tried talking to my sister in a sort of joking manner to gauge her responses to stuff like weed. I asked her something about her emo band and she freaks out and starts yelling at me that its not emo and its ska and how I didn't know the difference because im a nerd. Now she's always calling me a nerd and I don't care since I take it as a compliment

. Anyways, I made a generalization about that whole group (I know its not true but I was testing her). I said "oh they are all the same, nothing but pot smoking hippies". Then I said how pot is just a way for losers who cant handle life themselves try to escape or run away. All of a sudden she gets majorly pissed of and storms out of the room.

My mom probably is too ignorant to know anything about weed. For all she knows, its an herb that is used as a medicine back in China. So I tried to explain to her its like any other illegal drug like cocaine, etc. I guess my mom just doesn't know how to handle something like drugs. I've never done drugs (never had the need or desire) and my two brothers the same.

So the coming come home and never answering or calling thing is really pissing my mom off and she's going to cancel her cell phone since she never uses it to call home anyways. I also volunteered to shut off her internet access til she behaves. I've tried talking to my sister before, but she just yells at me how its none of my business and ignores me. I've also tried convincing her to pick up another hobby besides her band (which seems to never go anywhere or do anything except hang out).

How should I handle this? I really don't care if shes out all night, smoking pot, gang banging her band, or whatever. At least she should let someone know where she is, when she's coming home and she is smart and responsible with what she does. I could care less if I disconnect her internet or not, its as simple as <config t int fa0/12 shut>

Thanks
1337haxor

08-05-2005, 06:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
1337haxor Insane Location: PA	my sister is being disobedient and disrespectful, could be drugs? Hey, I'm not sure how to handle this or even if I should even get involved any more then I am now. Background: I'm 20, my sister is 15 and in a ska band, my mom doesn't speak any english, my dad hasn't been home for 3 years and my mom is the only who speaks with him Okay, so my sister is always out with her friends. My mom doesn't have a problem with that and lets her out all the time with her friends or band. Now the problem is, she gets really snappy when my mom asks where she's going. Sometimes she will tell her and sometimes she will just go. She also comes home really late and never calls to tell my mom shes coming home late and never calls to say where she is. My mom tries calling and my sister ignores the phone calls. When she does come home in the middle of the night, my mom gets angry asking why she didn't pick up the phone, etc. My sister just starts getting snappy again and says she didn't feel like it, its none of her business, etc. My mom threatens to not let her out and she just starts bitching how she's controlling and never lets her do anything. Now, I've met some of her friends and most of them seem okay. I knew some of them when I was still in high school. Now, some of her other friends (mainly her band I think) seem a lil shady. They were over one day and I didn't think much of it, but some of my friends were over and they were like "those are your sister's stoner friends?". I'm like "stoner friends?". They basically told me that they looked just like the type that be all into drugs and stuff. I thought about it for abit and the way they acted, dressed, etc reminded me a lot of a group I sort of quasi knew in high school and I definately knew they were big pot / drug users. My sister is also always in her room with the door closed. I usually knock before entering and she's usually chatting online like crazy or doing something with her music notes. I don't have her IMs monitored, and I probably won't since I wouldn't like someone snooping on my IM while home. As a source of money, my sister just has money saved up from gifts and stuff so she usually doesn't hit my mom up for money. However, her cell phone is paid for by my mom and her computer and internet privileages are controlled by me. I've tried talking to my sister in a sort of joking manner to gauge her responses to stuff like weed. I asked her something about her emo band and she freaks out and starts yelling at me that its not emo and its ska and how I didn't know the difference because im a nerd. Now she's always calling me a nerd and I don't care since I take it as a compliment . Anyways, I made a generalization about that whole group (I know its not true but I was testing her). I said "oh they are all the same, nothing but pot smoking hippies". Then I said how pot is just a way for losers who cant handle life themselves try to escape or run away. All of a sudden she gets majorly pissed of and storms out of the room. My mom probably is too ignorant to know anything about weed. For all she knows, its an herb that is used as a medicine back in China. So I tried to explain to her its like any other illegal drug like cocaine, etc. I guess my mom just doesn't know how to handle something like drugs. I've never done drugs (never had the need or desire) and my two brothers the same. So the coming come home and never answering or calling thing is really pissing my mom off and she's going to cancel her cell phone since she never uses it to call home anyways. I also volunteered to shut off her internet access til she behaves. I've tried talking to my sister before, but she just yells at me how its none of my business and ignores me. I've also tried convincing her to pick up another hobby besides her band (which seems to never go anywhere or do anything except hang out). How should I handle this? I really don't care if shes out all night, smoking pot, gang banging her band, or whatever. At least she should let someone know where she is, when she's coming home and she is smart and responsible with what she does. I could care less if I disconnect her internet or not, its as simple as <config t int fa0/12 shut> Thanks 1337haxor