|
I agree with SirLance and Rodney. This was a major problem for me, for a long time. At some point you have to kick yourself in the ass and say, I donīt want these memories to have such power over me anymore. You canīt force this, but it becomes more feasible over time. Remember that itīs your own head, and you ultimately control it (even though it probably feels out of control most of the time, which I understand).
I used to give my past relationships so much power over my memory that there wasnīt much room for anything else... at that point, you hold on only because you want to hold on, not because they are 'stuck' in your head. Thatīs when the ass-kicking comes in handy. I usually have the most luck exorcising those demons when I write myself a really harsh letter from the more rational side of my brain, and then I read it often until it starts to hit home. But thatīs just me.
Iīd reconsider your having lunch with this old crush... I had a similar thing happen to me a while back, and it made me pretty uncomfortable in the end. I have a happy, strong relationship with a great guy these days, and I donīt want past things bringing up fresh memories and feelings. Itīs not fair to him. Be honest with yourself about why you want to meet her again.
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
|