Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - ADVICE HELP NEEDED: What does it mean when the ex asks if you have had sex since her

pan6467 · 08-04-2005, 03:43 PM

This whole situation is crazy and seriously playing games with my heart.

My ex wife (soon to be finalized Aug 18th) and I are trying to remain friends. But lately she has been asking if I have had sex since her and I were last together in March and asking if I have anyone serious in my life. I respond in the negative.

She says she asks simply because she is nosy...... I believe there is far more to it.

It confuses me because she left me over a year ago so what should she care. I don't care what she does or with whom (as it is none of my business), yet, I'll ask her when she asks me. And she'll say no, she isn't even dating.

Then this Sun - Tues. I had a road trip and asked if she could take care of my Dinkydawg (my chihuahua) and she said ok.

So I left a key under the backdoor mat and went. She called and said she couldn't find the key and as I was in New Jersey there wasn't a lot I could do.

She called me 20 times after that on Mon. between 5pm and 12:30am (I never answered the phone because I couldn't do anything and didn't want to be upset by her).... she left only 2 messages..... 1 to tell me she couldn't find the key and to call her at her dad's and the second just to tell me to call her.

She called again, Tues. morning at 8:55, I answered, she sounded like she had either been crying or just woke up. I told her I would call the office and have them give her a key (which they did).

She called me 3 times after that, once to let me know she got in, once to say she was leaving but coming back and another just to see where I was on my way back.

Beth, the lady I was with (I took her kids to their dad's for her, and it was totally platonic), said my ex, was doing all this to get to me and because she was desperately jealous.

I dropped Beth off and went into work just to pop in on my way home and asked a co-worker/friend what he thought and he said that he believes she is jealous as Hell and is beside herself but doesn't want me to know.

I don't know, it's been over a year since she moved out and we have had sex a few times since. She gets close then pulls away fast.

I have become pretty much immune to it. I love her deeply and always will but I have moved on in that I am trying very hard to be emotionally detached and have accepted the fact we are getting divorced. I have dated and moved on, so I wish to believe.

So can anyone offer me advice and/or give me some explanations why she asks about my sex life and why she called so many times.

(PS she even called my mother to tell her how she couldn't get into the apt., my mom was like "what can I do I'm in Ashland and can"t drive." )

To me it just seems the ex isn't as ready to let go as she says she is.

Also, we IM'd today and I asked her when she wanted me to drop off her present that I got her.....

she said she was home right now......

I said I had to shower and could come over.......

she said she was going to eat with a friend (who is much like a father figure for her) .......

I said ok, maybe she could come over after......

she said no......

then I asked about our court date....

wanting to make sure I didn't miss it (I lost the paper with date and time on it)......

all of a sudden her tone changed in the way she typed....

she asked why I asked, I told her because I didn't want to miss the court date...

then she says she forgot to do something and has to leave and wham she signed out and was gone.

08-04-2005, 03:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	ADVICE HELP NEEDED: What does it mean when the ex asks if you have had sex since her This whole situation is crazy and seriously playing games with my heart. My ex wife (soon to be finalized Aug 18th) and I are trying to remain friends. But lately she has been asking if I have had sex since her and I were last together in March and asking if I have anyone serious in my life. I respond in the negative. She says she asks simply because she is nosy...... I believe there is far more to it. It confuses me because she left me over a year ago so what should she care. I don't care what she does or with whom (as it is none of my business), yet, I'll ask her when she asks me. And she'll say no, she isn't even dating. Then this Sun - Tues. I had a road trip and asked if she could take care of my Dinkydawg (my chihuahua) and she said ok. So I left a key under the backdoor mat and went. She called and said she couldn't find the key and as I was in New Jersey there wasn't a lot I could do. She called me 20 times after that on Mon. between 5pm and 12:30am (I never answered the phone because I couldn't do anything and didn't want to be upset by her).... she left only 2 messages..... 1 to tell me she couldn't find the key and to call her at her dad's and the second just to tell me to call her. She called again, Tues. morning at 8:55, I answered, she sounded like she had either been crying or just woke up. I told her I would call the office and have them give her a key (which they did). She called me 3 times after that, once to let me know she got in, once to say she was leaving but coming back and another just to see where I was on my way back. Beth, the lady I was with (I took her kids to their dad's for her, and it was totally platonic), said my ex, was doing all this to get to me and because she was desperately jealous. I dropped Beth off and went into work just to pop in on my way home and asked a co-worker/friend what he thought and he said that he believes she is jealous as Hell and is beside herself but doesn't want me to know. I don't know, it's been over a year since she moved out and we have had sex a few times since. She gets close then pulls away fast. I have become pretty much immune to it. I love her deeply and always will but I have moved on in that I am trying very hard to be emotionally detached and have accepted the fact we are getting divorced. I have dated and moved on, so I wish to believe. So can anyone offer me advice and/or give me some explanations why she asks about my sex life and why she called so many times. (PS she even called my mother to tell her how she couldn't get into the apt., my mom was like "what can I do I'm in Ashland and can"t drive." ) To me it just seems the ex isn't as ready to let go as she says she is. Also, we IM'd today and I asked her when she wanted me to drop off her present that I got her..... she said she was home right now...... I said I had to shower and could come over....... she said she was going to eat with a friend (who is much like a father figure for her) ....... I said ok, maybe she could come over after...... she said no...... then I asked about our court date.... wanting to make sure I didn't miss it (I lost the paper with date and time on it)...... all of a sudden her tone changed in the way she typed.... she asked why I asked, I told her because I didn't want to miss the court date... then she says she forgot to do something and has to leave and wham she signed out and was gone. __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"