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I have known many different people to act to loss in different ways. Some completely shut down, get depressed, others try to get busy, others just want all their friends there to help them cope etc...
Sorry with a loss, I find it hard to judge anyone wrong. You being close to her, feel hurt, about being shut out which I feel is right, you just have to understand the circumstances. I would send something over for condolences that says you are there as a friend, if she needs you.
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