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everyone deals with loss different.
a friend being hit by an ex and a family member dying in the same night is a lot of shit to deal with.
Maybe she didnt feel like talking to you?
all that said. You did no wrong in my book.
i might be a little annoyed at her if i was in your situation but not much seeing as all that happened.
and if you want to be real nice about it, you could send her flowers.
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