Ramallah

Warning: long read.

Background: my girlfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago. Let's call her Abby. We never really stopped talking though, and we're basically dating without the title. We planned on getting back together once school started because we'd have more time to see each other.

Friday was my birthday and she threw me a surprise party at my friend's house. We were having fun until her friend called. She had an argument with an ex and he hit her and he refused to leave the house. She wanted Abby to go back home because she didn't want to be alone. Abby didn't want to leave me, so she decided that she would go home, pick up her friend, and bring her over so that she wouldn't have to be alone. I didn't hear from her again for the rest of the night. I called her twice, but there was no answer. I slept at my friend's house that night because Abby had brought me there and I didn't have a way home.

The next day I called her a few times but she never answered. I started to get a little worried because it didn't seem like her to leave me on my birthday and not call me to tell me why afterwards. Then I called again and her phone was busy, so she was obviously using it and was talking to someone. She didn't call me back that day either.

The next day (yesterday) I was starting to get worried so I decided to call one more time, and if she didn't answer, I would go to her house to check on her. Of course she didn't answer so I went over there. No one was home so I was going to leave a note on her door saying to call me. As I was writing the note, she pulled up. She seemed annoyed that I was there. I asked her why she hadn't called me and she said she was busy, and that she learned that her grandfather died on the night of my birthday after she left and she didn't feel like talking to anyone. She hadn't come back to the party because she had to go to her parents' house. Then she got mad at me for going to her house uninvited. I explained that I had called before I left but she didn't answer her phone, and that I only went because I was worried about her and wanted to check on her. I knew something was wrong because she would have called me otherwise. It's not like I was just dropping by to say hello; it was the only way to find out what was going on and to make sure that she was okay. I could tell that she was in a bad mood so I just left.

Now, am I wrong for being mad at her? I can understand that she was upset and she didn't feel like talking, but it would have taken less than a minute for her to call and explain what happened, and say "I'm sorry but I don't feel like talking, I'll call you later." And anyway, there were three separate occasions where I called and her phone was busy; after I got a busy signal the first time, I called back ten minutes or so later and it was still busy, so either she was still talking to the same person or she was talking to someone else; either way she didn't seem to have that much of an aversion to talking on the phone. She can't say that she was busy because she had a day and a half to call me, not counting the night of my birthday. I have a hard time believing that she couldn't find one spare minute in a day and a half. And her getting mad at me for going over is complete bullshit, as I've explained already. If she had called me and told me what was going on, I wouldn't have felt obligated to go over there and check on her.

What gets me most is that if I did this to her, she'd go batshit. She'd claim that I don't love her and get moody for a few days and refuse to talk about it.

I'm mad at her no matter what and I'm going to talk to her about it, but I'm wondering what other people think of the situation.