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Terror Alert Level Raised to "Fusia"
Chicken Little Sought for Questioning
Telephones were ringing off the hook Thursday at the Entendreville emergency response unit, and the emergency workers were powerless to respond. It all started at 4:15 in the afternoon. Witnesses claim that, just before the catastrophe, one Chicken Little was prophesizing doom...again! One witness had this to say: "Yeah, I was just washing the car, when I see this little baby chicken running down the street, yelling that the sky was falling. The first thing I thought was wow, a talking chicken. But then, the sky really did break apart into hundreds of pieces."
Soon after the sky broke apart, reality itself started to break apart too. "So, there I was, washing my car, and the damned thing broke in two! All of a sudden, one half disappeared, and was replaced by the top section of some lady. She looked at me, I looked at her, then one of us screamed like a little schoolgirl."
Due to the shifting of space and time, navigation of Entendreville has become almost impossible. It took this reporter over eight hours to find the editor to turn in this report, and he was just in the next office! My epic journey took me through a moonlit garden, past the left foot of the sphinx, and under the golden gate bridge. Then, I won't even describe my trip to the bathroom!
Several hours later, reality started to right itself again. Various reports have placed the time of repair to somewhere between 8:00 and 9:00 pm. Normally, this reporter wouldn't quote himself as a witness, but I have to know if anyone else noticed the following phenomenon. As pieces of reality around me started to fit back together, I caught a glimpse of a giant hand. The hand was very dirty, and smelled like cookies.
All is well once again in the town of Entendreville, though. Emergency workers report no casualities from the odd circumstances of Thursday night. Congress has now declared that $1.2 billion dollars will be put into research to ensure that this never happens again.
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