Ok, this is to Bulletcatcher. I am coming to you from the mind set of a teenager in a mixed family. He is scared and he is trying to find out who he is. He may not know how to vent his anger and fear. He is testing the boundaries on what he is allowed to get away with from each of you. You may need to send him to a counselor. He may need an outlet for his fears and anger. He feels out of place, he sees your family that you and his mother have made without him. And he does not know what to do.
So here is what you need to do (at least this is what I think): sit him down and tell him that he has to respect the rules just like everyone else in the family. Tell him that now he is part of your family that you would like him to respect your rules. But do it in a manner that does not sound like you are nagging him. Make sure that you make him feel like part of your family. He is very user about what his role is in your household. Try reaching out to him as a male. Remeber your own words you were his age at one time, too.
Good luck and I hope I helped just a little.
