Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

TM875 · 07-20-2005, 01:21 PM

Gee, don't you think she might be overreacting just a tad?

You got invited to a party. There was no explicit invitation for your lady. You have two logical courses for the future:

A) Go to party, bring along girlfriend. Granted, she wasn't invited, but it's pretty widely accepted that, if one person in invited, the SO has the unmentioned invite, too.
B) If you want to fly solo, simply tell girlfriend that this probably wouldn't be a party that she'd want to go to, and that you would be saving her from hours of boredom. Or worse, you could always tell her the truth. "You know I love going places and hanging out with you, but I just need some alone time with my friends tonight. If anything, it will just make me appreciate seeing you even more next time"

My curiosity here, though, is why would this even be an issue? In past relationships, if I or the girl were going to a party or hanging out with friends, it was not a hard-feelings thing if the other wasn't invited, too. Sometimes I went out with my friends while she stayed home, sometimes she went out while I relaxed. I loved being with her, but there is always a time when we needed to be alone (especially if the friends aren't mutual - I like to go out, smoke, drink, critique music, play poker....she liked to go and shop or be with other bitchy females and complain on how hard life is. Sorry...let's get back to topic).

Anyhoo, hopefully your girlfriend won't freak out over you wanting some personal space. You sound like an intelligent, and certainly caring, person, and she should know you well enough by now to not misinterpret your actions and wants. Moreover, if she is concerned with your happiness (as a good SO should be), then she should encourage you to go out, have a good time, and then have dinner with her tomorrow. Hopefully.

07-20-2005, 01:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
TM875 Addict Location: Amish-land, PA	Gee, don't you think she might be overreacting just a tad? You got invited to a party. There was no explicit invitation for your lady. You have two logical courses for the future: A) Go to party, bring along girlfriend. Granted, she wasn't invited, but it's pretty widely accepted that, if one person in invited, the SO has the unmentioned invite, too. B) If you want to fly solo, simply tell girlfriend that this probably wouldn't be a party that she'd want to go to, and that you would be saving her from hours of boredom. Or worse, you could always tell her the truth. "You know I love going places and hanging out with you, but I just need some alone time with my friends tonight. If anything, it will just make me appreciate seeing you even more next time" My curiosity here, though, is why would this even be an issue? In past relationships, if I or the girl were going to a party or hanging out with friends, it was not a hard-feelings thing if the other wasn't invited, too. Sometimes I went out with my friends while she stayed home, sometimes she went out while I relaxed. I loved being with her, but there is always a time when we needed to be alone (especially if the friends aren't mutual - I like to go out, smoke, drink, critique music, play poker....she liked to go and shop or be with other bitchy females and complain on how hard life is. Sorry...let's get back to topic). Anyhoo, hopefully your girlfriend won't freak out over you wanting some personal space. You sound like an intelligent, and certainly caring, person, and she should know you well enough by now to not misinterpret your actions and wants. Moreover, if she is concerned with your happiness (as a good SO should be), then she should encourage you to go out, have a good time, and then have dinner with her tomorrow. Hopefully. __________________ "I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."