Does anyone here record the phone conversations their children have?
Does anyone here have their children's backpack, or clothes, or music player bugged so they can monitor what they say when they're off alone with friends?
Let's face it, just because it's easy to install this software and it's easy to justify due to ownership of the computer, or even by some claim as to better the child, doesn't mean that the software should be placed on it.
First of all, teens are going to talk a lot of shit with their friends. It's what we do. No, it doesn't mean he'll grow up to be a horrible person. My friends and I may yell at each other over the internet (on microphones) calling each other certain racial terms or genital areas while playing computer games, but that doesn't suddenly make me a horrible failure. Not only do I consider myself a fairly moral person, I am also succeeding well in school (starting college next year with sophmore standing and probably will triple major). So just because he might have a couple crazy conversations doesn't mean anything, end of line.
Secondly, just stop and think about what you will be doing. You're not protecting him from unwanted webpages (though you can), you're not adding security software to your computer (though it might enhance that), you are instead
spying on his own personal conversations. Just as I asked above, would you record their phone conversations? Would you bug their clothes so you can hear what they say when they're outside with friends? Just because the conversations are on text over the internet doesn't make it immune to the fact that you would be spying on the kid's personal conversation.
Now, I'm not advocating that you shouldn't prohibit certain webpages or limit their time on the computer. That's just as if you were limiting your child from going to certain places or talking on the phone for however many hours a day.
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Originally Posted by Bill
Been through this with my own. First of all, as mal already stated, 14 year olds are not entitled to all that much privacy. You, as the parent, or in your case...the parental figure, not only have a right to know who, what, when and where he is up to...you have a responsibility to know.
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Know where your kid has gone, what they were up to, who they were with, but monitoring their chat is a whole different type of "genuine concern". Just because someone is a child's parent does not grant them the right to act as the Gestapo and determine what their child may or may not talk about and in what manner. Of course if they're directly talking to you they need to watch what they say, just as ANY person would, but when they're with their friends it's their own game.