Sounds like you guys have some issues that are probably more psychological than physical. Wetness might be an issue in his not being able to orgasm, but if he's also worried about not being able to satisfy you, he's going to be distracted and frustrated. Blaming you for it is not nice, but it's an understandable response for someone who has fears that he's inadequate for you. From other stuff you've said - that you faked orgasms, and that he says he's not going to be your "coach" - it sounds like the main issue is communication. If either of you is not willing/able to articulate what you want, comfortably and openly, then it's just a very painful guessing game trying to figure out what feels good to the other person. I know people have a lot of expectations about sex - that the other person should be able to just intuitively satisfy you - but a lot of people also have very bad sex because of these expectations and assumptions.
Step one might be just masturbating with each other. Watch what the other person does, talk to them about how it feels, what they're doing. Join in when it feels comfortable. Also, it might be helpful to dissociate "sex" from "orgasm." Sometimes just being sensual is a pleasure, without the expectation that everyone has to get off. Try playing some games with each other that involve just touching and exploring.
And as for the wetness issue, it might be worth talking to a gyno about possible solutions.
Best of luck!
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