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Martian · 07-09-2005, 01:58 AM

You've never watched each other masturbate?

The key to sex is communication. I thought from your initial post that you had that covered, but now I'm thinking you may only now be reaching the level you really want to be at.

Consider what you've done together. Consider the taboos you've broken with each other. You've done the most intimate possible things with each other, saying things that you've been taught are 'wrong' isn't that big a deal. Really, the word and the sentiment no longer applies anymore.

My girlfriend knows that I like to watch her touch herself. She also knows that I think she gives great head. I know that she likes it when I rub her clit while we're having sex. We know these things because, in one way or another, we've told each other. Some of it's been by 'talking dirty' to each other during sex and being very frank about what we want (the way we usually manage this is by switching off; sometimes I make her spell things out for me, sometimes she does the same) and some of it's just been from open and straightforward discussion (I've found the best time for that is post-coitus; your minds are already leaning that way and it's easy to whisper things to her while you're holding her after sex).

If I'm misreading again and you've had these discussions then you need to implement it. If she wants you to take charge, then do so. Don't think of it as forcing yourself on her, rather think of it as driving her wild by allowing her to totally let go. MY girl and I haven't progressed to the level where I'm forcefully taking her and probably never will, but all the same when I'm taking charge she knows it. If she were to say stop I would, but I'm a lot more aggresive. I tell her that I want her to suck my dick or that I want to fuck her hard, or I just do it. On the other side, when it's her turn to take charge I know I can just lay back and enjoy the ride and that she'll let me know exactly what she wants and when she wants it.

EDIT - In more direct relation to my initial reaction, that's a very good idea and helps a lot. If she masturbates in front of you than it gives you an idea of the things that really get her rockets firing; that waywhen you're together you can automatically do the things that you know she likes without asking and take control that way. You won't have to worry as much about if it's pleasing her because you'll know she enjoys it and that can make things go more smoothly and allow you to take charge.

07-09-2005, 01:58 AM	#13 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	You've never watched each other masturbate? The key to sex is communication. I thought from your initial post that you had that covered, but now I'm thinking you may only now be reaching the level you really want to be at. Consider what you've done together. Consider the taboos you've broken with each other. You've done the most intimate possible things with each other, saying things that you've been taught are 'wrong' isn't that big a deal. Really, the word and the sentiment no longer applies anymore. My girlfriend knows that I like to watch her touch herself. She also knows that I think she gives great head. I know that she likes it when I rub her clit while we're having sex. We know these things because, in one way or another, we've told each other. Some of it's been by 'talking dirty' to each other during sex and being very frank about what we want (the way we usually manage this is by switching off; sometimes I make her spell things out for me, sometimes she does the same) and some of it's just been from open and straightforward discussion (I've found the best time for that is post-coitus; your minds are already leaning that way and it's easy to whisper things to her while you're holding her after sex). If I'm misreading again and you've had these discussions then you need to implement it. If she wants you to take charge, then do so. Don't think of it as forcing yourself on her, rather think of it as driving her wild by allowing her to totally let go. MY girl and I haven't progressed to the level where I'm forcefully taking her and probably never will, but all the same when I'm taking charge she knows it. If she were to say stop I would, but I'm a lot more aggresive. I tell her that I want her to suck my dick or that I want to fuck her hard, or I just do it. On the other side, when it's her turn to take charge I know I can just lay back and enjoy the ride and that she'll let me know exactly what she wants and when she wants it. EDIT - In more direct relation to my initial reaction, that's a very good idea and helps a lot. If she masturbates in front of you than it gives you an idea of the things that really get her rockets firing; that waywhen you're together you can automatically do the things that you know she likes without asking and take control that way. You won't have to worry as much about if it's pleasing her because you'll know she enjoys it and that can make things go more smoothly and allow you to take charge. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame Last edited by Martian; 07-09-2005 at 02:01 AM..