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Old 07-07-2005, 06:31 PM   #1 (permalink)
greeneyes
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Location: Charlotte, NC
Is he being ungrateful?

Quick Backstory:

I am getting married and as a wedding present, my fiance's mother wanted to give to him a family bridal set for me. The set is lovely and we both felt very honored. My future mother-in-law and I have the beginnings of a great relationship and I saw this as her way of approving of me and giving her blessing on our pending nuptials. Let me stress that in no way did we ask for the ring or even consider it as a potential engagement ring for me at all.

The center stone needed to be replaced and so she said that she would pay for half of it. My fiance, Mr. L as I will call him, was to meet his mom today to look at stones. At the counter, with the sales man showing them the stone, his mother says to him, "I'm having second thoughts about giving this to you." Mr. L is crushed, not that he won't get the ring, but that his mother has reneged on a promise. He tells her that he is upset, she tells him she thinks he is acting like a spoiled brat, and then reveals that the reason she is having second thoughts is because she is actually having second thoughts about me.



I don't know what happened. She has always treated me very well and talked about how she likes me, is excited about us getting married, and this past Tuesday even told me to call her "Mom." She and I went dress shopping this week, looked at potential places to hold the reception and she never ONCE indicated that she was anything but excited and over-joyed. I have not seen or spoken with her since Tuesday and so I have NO idea what could have possibly changed.

Mr. L is devastated that his mom feels this way and is going back on a promise. She feels very strongly that he is just acting spoiled and ungrateful. I feel I am too close to this situation to make a decision and so am asking for the fine folks of TFP to examine this one. Bottom line is, I don't need the engagement ring and it was never about the ring. It was about how the act of her wanting to give it symbolized that she wanted me in the family and how now she has hurt my fiance.

What to do?
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