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It is quite possible that it's repression that's doing it to you. If you could afford it, I would say try a Tantra counselling. Barring that, before you can get to the point of letting go, you need to unlearn the past. There are several books I'm sure on doing just that if you can't afford outside help. In the meantime, a quick fix would be a glass of wine(don't get buzzed, it dries one out) and some nice warming lube.
The most important thing at the time is, though, to not focus on the big prize, but lose yourself in the joy you're experiencing at the moment-and giving while getting is a way to do that as well.
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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.
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