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Originally Posted by JinnKai
Gilda, I agree completely. That's what I was trying to say in my post.  How though, would you suggest people determine if the other person belongs to their "subculture" -- there's all sorts of lingo that are specific to these subcultures that are NOT offensive, and they are a perfect example. In fact, I have many as a Computer Geek, often very unfamiliar to those out of my "zone." If I dont use these words, someone might get offended that I was treating them like an idiot. Or this not an apt metaphor? |
No, that's a good example. I have friends who are computer geeks, too, and I'm a comics nerd myself.
Usually it's pretty obvious whether a person is part of your in group. If in doubt, it's probably best to assume not until you know otherwise, and use a moderate level of diction, using standard American English (in the US) and adjusting on the fly as needed. If I'm with my comics group, I'll use shorthand like, for instance, the term retcon without thinking about it and without explanation. If I were talking to someone who isn't a comics nerd--and we're pretty easy to spot--I'd be more likely to use an explanation (retcon--retroactive continuity, or changing past events to fit the present).
In the case of the thread title in question, the thread was on a public message board frequented by a large number of people of various ages, ethnic backgrounds, political viewpoints, etc. Using colloquial slang that included a word usually intended to be demeaning to women was taking a risk of misunderstanding and/or offense.
My students quickly get a lesson in proper diction in my classes at the beginning of the year. Saying something is "gay" or "retarded" with your friends as a form of insult is fine with me. Doing it in my classroom or when speaking to me is not. Learning to adjust your level of discourse to match the situation as appropriate is a big part of maturing.