Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My heart is broken and I can't fall out of love!

Beccarain · 06-17-2005, 07:43 PM

Oh, man, I feel for what you are going through; I went through a similar situation; work place romance, and they guy . . . well let's just say it ended very badly. I went through a period of a couple of months where I seemed unable to think about anything else but how to "fix" something that no longer existed. I went to therapy because I could see this problem was taking over my life and I so needed to get on with my life. Some great ideas have already been offered; I'd like to share some tips that helped me:

* allow (schedule) a small block of time each day to think/cry about her; if thoughts creep in any other time of day, gently push them aside and remind yourself to wait until the scheduled time. When that time is up, move on to something else. Taking control of your mind is crucial to getting on with your life.

* journaling is a great way to get the thoughts out of a racing/obsessed mind.

* stay far away from her!! From what you've said, I get the feeling she is not at all interested in friendship with you. Some people just like knowing they have the power over someone else, and like to string them along. She may very well be manipulating you. As long as being around her is so painful, you are indeed doing a disservice to yourself by pretending everything is cool. That must be torture for you! If you must stay with your present employer, at least consider limiting your dealings with her to business; no more lunches, smoke breaks, etc.

Above all, take care of yourself. Give yourself some time to heal and feel better about YOU before getting involved with someone else. Please remember that no one can make us feel anything -- we are responsible for our own thoughts and feelings.

Please do not rule out talking with a professional; a good therapist can help you help yourself. Anything that is preventing you from living your is a problem worthy of professional help. Trust me on this one.

You CAN get over her, and you will. You clearly have a good heart and lots of love to share with the right person. So take some time to heal yourself; you are a project well worth the effort.

Big ((hug))

06-17-2005, 07:43 PM	#12 (permalink)
Beccarain Upright Location: Right here, right now	Oh, man, I feel for what you are going through; I went through a similar situation; work place romance, and they guy . . . well let's just say it ended very badly. I went through a period of a couple of months where I seemed unable to think about anything else but how to "fix" something that no longer existed. I went to therapy because I could see this problem was taking over my life and I so needed to get on with my life. Some great ideas have already been offered; I'd like to share some tips that helped me: * allow (schedule) a small block of time each day to think/cry about her; if thoughts creep in any other time of day, gently push them aside and remind yourself to wait until the scheduled time. When that time is up, move on to something else. Taking control of your mind is crucial to getting on with your life. * journaling is a great way to get the thoughts out of a racing/obsessed mind. * stay far away from her!! From what you've said, I get the feeling she is not at all interested in friendship with you. Some people just like knowing they have the power over someone else, and like to string them along. She may very well be manipulating you. As long as being around her is so painful, you are indeed doing a disservice to yourself by pretending everything is cool. That must be torture for you! If you must stay with your present employer, at least consider limiting your dealings with her to business; no more lunches, smoke breaks, etc. Above all, take care of yourself. Give yourself some time to heal and feel better about YOU before getting involved with someone else. Please remember that no one can make us feel anything -- we are responsible for our own thoughts and feelings. Please do not rule out talking with a professional; a good therapist can help you help yourself. Anything that is preventing you from living your is a problem worthy of professional help. Trust me on this one. You CAN get over her, and you will. You clearly have a good heart and lots of love to share with the right person. So take some time to heal yourself; you are a project well worth the effort. Big ((hug))