cyrnel

Looking for thoughts, vibes, wisdom.

Mom passed away Sunday night. It was almost 5mo of battling against infections and complications she was finally unable to overcome. She put up one hell of a fight and I'm trying hard to take good things from that, but it's fresh and quite painful.

I was there with bro and sisters. We chose the time, to make it painless, and were together with healthcare staff who'd worked with us for a long time. That was good. Family is trying to stay in the moment and do the mechanical stuff we have to do, I'm scared of the silent times in between. Breakdowns, painful visions & memories... After 5mo being caregiver, living in the hospital and at their hotel, spending every day fighting cracks in the system, attitudes, motivation... I gained friends & knowledge that will remain forever... I want very much to keep up the fight wherever it leads... working with doctors, administration, clergy, but it's all a little like graduating, changing jobs, and losing mom at once. Family is great but they were here, I was there.

In a couple days the mechanical stuff is over, along with my escape. Looking for thoughts and ways to cope.

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There are a vast number of people who are uninformed and heavily propagandized, but fundamentally decent. The propaganda that inundates them is effective when unchallenged, but much of it goes only skin deep. If they can be brought to raise questions and apply their decent instincts and basic intelligence, many people quickly escape the confines of the doctrinal system and are willing to do something to help others who are really suffering and oppressed." -Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media, p. 195