|
You need to go and get help, now, definitely before the child is born. Having these feelings doesn't make you bad and won't necessarily mean you will be a terrible mom. The fact that you seem to care whether or not you are a terrible mom and are capable of messing up this baby's life - speaks volumes. You apparently already care for this child, you just need help getting all your emotions together, its a great shock to those who try to get pregnant, you not thinking it was possible, geez I can only imagine. You have had a lot put on you and its ok to feel like this, just please reach out to someone, before the child is born. I would hate for you to miss out on something that could be the best thing you ever do. I think you are scared, and god knows, we all should be to a point. I was miserable with my first child, I got so fat and I was not feeling very good, all part of being pregnant, for some. I was afraid of my child, when she was born. I just wanted to go to sleep, the nurse kept trying to get me to hold her, I didn't even want to see her. I felt so bad, how can I not want to see my own child? Where was that instant bonding you hear all about, didn't happen with me. It did kick in a few days after, and believe me there is nothing like the love you feel for that child, the immense protection you have for that child, it is truly something you cannot understand until it happens. So please, talk to someone - just might change your life.
|