Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
This is normal. You ARE handling it. Sometimes life is really sad. Sometimes you will feel angry. Sometimes you will want so very badly to just talk to her. It's okay to FEEL these things... you have to let them run through you, let them run their full course and bulldoze your soul for a while. But while you feel things deeply, do not let them control you. Don't call her. Feel the pain of not calling her, but don't give in to it. It sucks. But it's better that way, in my experience.
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abaya speaks the truth too!
I'd go so far as to say it's more than ok. It's
important you feel these things. Look, it happens all the time that people lose something big in their life--a relationship, a loved one, a job maybe--and they go dead. When people tell you their story of loss, there's often this deadness to them, a flatness of affect and voice. Life becomes about getting the next thing, but it's hopeless because that one is going to go the same way. Just totally self-anesthetized against their feelings, and dead through to the core.
I say that's what happens when you DON'T let yourself feel these things. No matter how bad it gets, one thing you can always say to yourself is, "Well, damn it, I'm
alive!"