This makes me wonder a lot about my issues with trusting people, because I really have a hard time doing it; however, I don't sabotage my relationships with people because of this fear. I think I approach relationships in a way that keeps my from being hurt until I can fully trust someone. I choose only to offer comfort and advice in times of need for them first, and if they have shown that they can't really do the same for me, I manage to close myself off from them and not become so close to them. I have what I would consider really good friends, but if i have a problem or I'm upset about something in my life, I really don't go to them because they honestly seem incapable of help or even comfort most of the time. My friends are wonderful to be around during the good times, fun to hang out with and go places with, but never in times of need or sadness would I go to them.
My SO on the other hand, is without a doubt my best friend, and I have never been as close to anyone else as I am with him. At first I kept my distance and slowly gave him bits and pieces about my life and my past, and every time he has managed to comfort me in the ways that I needed, and has offered who knows how many solutions to help me heal from whatever has happened to me.
I feel as though I would never sabotage a relationship because of my fear of trusting what someone's motives are. I stand back first and let them present themselves to me first, before I even start putting that trust in them. That way, I don't really get hurt if someone's motives are different than what have been shown to me. If I trust someone and then I am hurt, then I take it as learning a lesson instead.
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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
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