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Originally Posted by zen_tom
Being nice shows a strength of character, but is often mistaken for weakness, or over-interest. It is neither of those things. You really should try it. It's much better than being unpleasant and lashing out at people. You might find that by being nice, you are better able to deal with your own problems, and feel less inclined to lash out at people.
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When I'm in sabotage mode, I don't lash. I sulk. And I'm nice to a fault while I'm doing it--my victim is always very clear they're the bad guy.