cierah

So, the other night I tried to sabatoge a friendship. This guy has been really nothing but nice to me. I phoned him before I went home and he just talked to me for hours because he knew I was upset/worried about going home. He just listens. I can't figure out his game because no one does anything for nothing - and I can't figure out what he wants in return. So the other day I told him that I couldn't figure out his game and asked him his motivation for being nice. He said he had no alternative motivation and that he was just being nice for the sake of being nice. I didn't believe him and told him so. He then got sorta mad at me. The point is - I expect him to be vindictive with the knowledge he has about my personal life but at the same time hope that he is telling the truth in saying that he is just being nice. I wanted him to get mad at me or merely start ignoring me.

He phoned the next night and said that he forgave me and had decided to continue to be nice. That is the only option that I don't understand. I expected him to be mad or ignore me. I really can't figure out his game. He told me yesterday that I don't like being touched - either figuratively or literally. I told him about something that happened to me and I cried on the phone. I guess I just got scared that he was gonna hurt me so I hurt him first. It's a defense mechanism.

Anyways, the point. I obviously purposively tried to sabatoge that relationship and was sorta hoping to hear other ppl's stories so I don't feel like such a tool! lol. At any rate I feel better now....

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"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec