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Originally Posted by bubonico
I was just wondering if it's normal in a relationship for a guy to be going down far more often than the girl. I'm also wondering if women think other methods of reaching orgasms are satisfactory (fingers vibrators and what not) I realize that all relationships are different and it doesn't really matter and it's not a count or one up thing I guess I'm just curious how it works for other people.
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You answered your own question dude. There's no 'normal' when it comes to relationships and especially not sex. I'm pretty sure I go down on my girl more than she goes down on me, but we don't count and we tend to want to reciprocate, so it's hard to say for sure. That's this one. I have an ex who when we were together seemed like she just couldn't keep my dick out of her mouth and went down on me way more than I did on her. That was another relationship. Every one is different and if you're happy and she's happy then just chalk it up to being normal for you.
And, well, I'm not a girl, but to quote Sue Johannsen "an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm." I don't think it's as important how you get her off, as long as you do. You can try rubbing her clit during actual intercourse (easier in some positions than others) and if you don't mind toys that's definitely another option.
I'm not going to tell you to discuss the problem with her because you've said that you already have, but try to cut us some slack too. I'd make the uneducated guess that about 90% of sexul problems (and certainly that number out of the ones posted here) can be solved by frank and open communication, which is where far too many couples are lacking. So if it seems like people here jump to that, it's because that's what solves the problem.
So there you have it. I hope this is helpful to you and I'll leave you with a final note. I've said this one before and expect to say it again but it's important and it took me a long time to learn, so I try to point it out where I can. If you're counting orgasms you're kind of missing the point. Using myself as an example again, I know that my girl doesn't orgasm every time we have sex and she is one of the rare few who seems to be able to get off on a stray breeze. Hell, I don't even orgasm every time we have sex. I don't think that's important, really. The sex itself is great; it feels good and it brings us closer together. The orgasm is just a nice bonus at the end. It's not the destination, it's the journey that matters.