nack104

Alright, so I one of my biggest weaknesses is dealing with relationships. I admit it, so please just bare with me. I have a new problem that I need to deal with, and I would just like to hear your opinion. Maybe just getting this all out will ease my mind.

So here's the whole story. The girl contacted me two months while we were at college because she was curious. Since I had been so used to jumping into relationships, I brought up the idea to her 3 weeks into meeting her. She became very scared because she had horrible experiences in the past. She told me she wants to be my GF but he head and heart are in conflict. She said she wants to take things slowly, and I agreed with that solution.

So now for 2 months we've been dating, and I like her a lot. In fact, that's the whole problem, I think. Overall, she is very standoffish towards me. We kiss goodbye; when we're alone she can be affectionate; and she always talks to me online. However, in public she treats me like nothing more than a friend. Also, online she isn't affectionate at all usually. To be honest, if I didn't know any better I'd say she was just having fun instead of looking for a relationship.

Last week after drinking, I told her how I am falling for her, and that scares me because I'm trying to respect her need to go slowly. I told her I just like her a lot and hope she feels the same way. She told me she still likes me a lot (which I believe), but she said her brain is telling her that she has felt like this before, and shit happened. So she's still confused, but she still likes me.

My honest opinion is that she is confused because of what's happened in the past, and because of that she just wants to have fun and not too involved right now.

My problem is that I am really falling for her hard, and I'm scared because I'm moving faster than she is. She seems to just treat me as a guy she's dating and having fun with, and I'm looking to have a serious relationship with her. I'm unsure if I'm just being impatient and inconsiderate of her feelings, but what I am sure of is that her lack of affection is starting to hurt me badly. She doesn't seem to really care whether we hang out or not, that's just the type of girl she is. If she had nothing to do, she would call me, but she doesn't really LONG for me to be with her, you know?

I'm scared to bring this up with her because I don't want to push her away, but I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm considering just breaking up with her in my head and meeting new people; then when she's ready I will be there for her. But it just hurts because I don't know how to approach this. Maybe I'm just being really impatient; maybe I need to forget her, I don't know!

This just hurts a lot, and I don't know what to do anymore. I hate to bring this up again after I had done it the other night after drinking, because then it'll seem like I won't wait for her.

But I don't know how long I can wait.. it's possible that while she isn't using me, she doesn't realize that her waddling around and having fun is tearing me up inside. I don't think this is very fair for me whether no matter what she's feeling. If she really likes me and is just confused about what to do, it's still unfair to leave me hanging like this.

I appreciate all comments. I've heard several already from "You need to forget her" to "you can't push her, you need to take it slow" to "you need to not get so attached." Ugh, please someone help me out.