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She might want to try a progestin-only pill. Some women (myself included) experience that it can raise their sex drive. But it is absolutely crucial to take them at the same time every day or else they won't work.
Why does she refuse to try those other methods? Have you tried switching types of condoms? They're not all made of the same material, so maybe that would help the infection problem.
Taking hormones changes your body on a deep level and isn't for everyone. She may find that it's necessary to widen her horizons if she wants to get off the hormones. Good luck, birth control can really suck sometimes. I was one of those who couldn't use this, couldn't use that, had nothing but bad experiences until finally I just got my tubes tied and took care of the problem.
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