tres

My SO was peviously on the patch and due to migranes and 100% loss of sex drive, and dryness, I convinced her to talk to her Dr about switching.. Now for the last 3 months she is on Kariva. her DR says that is has the lowest horomone levels. So far, Dryness is not a problem anymore and no more migranes, but she still has no drive. She wants her drive back and wants to stop taking the pill, but then we would have to switch to condoms, also a problem due to frequent infections from them. She refuses to try the Ring, IUD, or Diaphram. This is obviously a problem since we both want to have lots of sex Is Kariva really the lowest horomone? Does it even make sense that the lower horomone levels would bring back her sex drive? Any advise?

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"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Squishor

She might want to try a progestin-only pill. Some women (myself included) experience that it can raise their sex drive. But it is absolutely crucial to take them at the same time every day or else they won't work.

Why does she refuse to try those other methods? Have you tried switching types of condoms? They're not all made of the same material, so maybe that would help the infection problem.

Taking hormones changes your body on a deep level and isn't for everyone. She may find that it's necessary to widen her horizons if she wants to get off the hormones. Good luck, birth control can really suck sometimes. I was one of those who couldn't use this, couldn't use that, had nothing but bad experiences until finally I just got my tubes tied and took care of the problem.

Sage

PLEASE for the love of god get your GF to try out EVERY single type of low-hormone pill until she finds one that is right for her. I HATE hormonal birth control, it made me a fucking psychopath for nine months straight until one day, after a particularly horrendous breakdown, Martel and I put two and two together and were like "I wasn't a psycho until I started birth control!" I now have an IUD and LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT, but it's not for everyone- they won't put one in your GF because she's not in a monogamous (read=married) relationship. BUT there are always other options. PLEASE save another woman from the horrors of hormonal manipulation!

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cellophanedeity

Sage, just to clarify, most of the time they won't put IUDs in not because of not being monogamous, but because if the woman hasn't given birth or had an abortion then it'd hurt really really bad to have her cervix widened.

Sage

Actually cellophane (and everyone else) the reasons my doctor gave me for not putting IUDs in women who haven't had a baby/abortion were:

A) When you've not had a baby, your uterus is not used to having anything in there, thus leading to an increased risk of expulsion of the IUD (something like 5% for women who have never been pregnant vs .5% for those who have). The risk of expulsion (or "rejection") is highest within the first six weeks of having the IUD. The way they put the IUD in doesn't involve any widening of the cervix. They wait until you're fully on your period (because that's when your cervix is most dialated) and then they do two things that involve your cervix opening- they sound your uterus (poke a little prod in there to figure out how deep your uterus is so they know how deep the IUD should go in) and insert the IUD (see www.paraguard.com for all the IUD info you could ever need).

B) When you're not in a monagamous relationship, it means you will probably be having sex with more than one person. This means you're at a much higher risk for contracting an STD, which is INCREDIBLY bad if you have an IUD. The reason (as far as I understood) that was given for this is that when you have an IUD, if you get Pelvic Inflammitory Disease (basically if any bacteria gets in your uterus and causes an infection) there is a huge chance the IUD will become embedded in the walls of the uterus, perhaps even puncturing the uterus. This can lead to sterilization or being very very sick with a very nasty infection. So, if you aren't sexually stable, they don't want to take the risk of exposing you to a potentally horrendous expierence.

And yeah, it hurt a lot to have my uterus sounded. But I've had worse menstrual cramps, and the fifteen seconds of pain was totally worth it to have ten to twelve years of no babies and no hormones.

Bottom line: tres, get your girl to the gyno ASAP!

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Demeter

Thats the bottom line with everyone & their birth control. You have to weigh the pro's & con's of each alternative, and that's different for each person.

Education is the key, when you get your girlfriend to the doc, (and don't be afraid to go with her, especially if you have questions) ask questions and make sure you tell him your concerns & wishes.
Have the doctor explain things to you until you feel comfortable that you're knowledgable enough to make a choice. Don't leave the office confused.

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I am not bound to please thee with my answers.
William Shakespeare

tres

Update** Ceci and I decided to go off the pill for one month..This suggesstion came from me, because I thought it would be a good idead for her to see how much better her life would be. So far I have the girl that I asked to marry me return!! Her attitude it so much better, she is happier and her sex drive returned.obvioiusly that makes me very happy. The down side of course is that we will be using condoms for a month.. (my sacrifice) It will be worth it just to have my girl back!
My fiance somehow got into what she calls an "uncomfortable" sex conversation with her Mom (very traditional spanish women). Her mom seemed to be able to read something..and asked "are you keeping Tres happy?" to make a long story short... Ceci is now Considering and IUD after learning that her mom has been using them for 20 years... Needless to say I'm Happy about that...

Anything we need to know about IUD's? Any particular one she should get? Anything to watch out for?

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

*Nikki*

Tell her she really needs to look into the Nuva Ring. It IS the lowest dose hormone.

Have her read this thread http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=84526
to give her more insight on it.

Acetylene

If she had trouble with the patch and dryness, she may have trouble with the ring as well. I have the exact same problems with all three of the timed-release forms of birth control which makes me suspect they share some of the same characteristics in order to MAKE them timed-release.

Tres, good job with the condoms and I'm glad her sex drive perked up so quickly. Normally it takes a whole cycle to really make the change.

Quick note about the IUD: Hormonal birth control works by preventing an egg from being released, so the egg can never be fertilized. IUDs do NOT prevent an egg from being released; instead, they prevent it from attaching to the uterine wall. This means that an egg could become fertilized and then ejected from the body, which some people consider an early form of abortion. This may or may not be a concern to you or your girl, but it's something you want to know about. If she's Catholic (and actually follows it) she'll probably not want an IUD because the Catholic church strictly says that a person's life begins in the moment of fertilization.

Of course, Sage is totally right that IUDs work wonders for women who can't use hormonal birth control, including my mother, so if she is ok with its method, then more power to you

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tres

Thanks for the Heads up and mini education.. however.. the religion thing is a non issue for us...

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Martel

Technically don't they not really know exactly how IUDs work? I can't seem to find anything that says definitively what the answer is on any of the big IUD websites.

If yer gonna be using condoms, tres, be sure to try a bunch of different kinds. Websites like good vibrations and condom depot sell sampler packs. Sage and I did this and used a couple sampler packs and it took trying a bunch of different ones to find ones that we really liked (my personal favorites were pleasure plus and kimono microthins).

Also, it could potentially take more than a month to get her back to baseline after being on hormones for a long time, so I'd recommend waiting longer than that (especially if you're planning to get her back onto hormonal birth control like the ring or something afterwards) so you give the hormone levels a chance to even back out.

All in all though, congrats on the condoms instead of wacky birth control, it was definitely a really great idea in the case of Sage and myself and got us back on track as far as sex goes.

good luck with it!

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Anamnesis

SSG505

Have you tried polyureanthan(sp) condoms? They transfer heat better then latex and give a little bit more feel. I would also second trying out diffrent types of condoms and find one that fits you best.

tres

Had sex last night with the condom!! She was very into it, and while it was not nearly as good as bearback... that fact that she was very into it completly made up in the excitment area......

__________________
"Its better to be hated for who you are, then loved for what your not" --Van Zant

"Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

raeanna74

I was gonna recommend these. I am quite allergic to Latex. Until I figured it out though I was getting an infection (BV or Yeast) EVERY time we had sex using a condom. The polyurethane condoms don't give me one bit of problem. I also look for those that don't have a spermacide in them because hubby and I both are sensitive to some spermacides. Spermacides burns both of us and cause itching that doesn't go away quickly. Look into these things as well.

As for the IUD. If the woman tends to have a lot of cramping during a period the IUD can increase that problem. Also there are two kinds of IUD's now. One that is plain and one that is permeated with hormones. If the hormones have affected your GF so much she might want to go without. The additional hormones are there to stop the cramping that the IUD causes so if she could go without she'd probably be better off.

I am going to be starting Kariva soon and am hoping that it helps me with my migranes. I haven't had a lot of trouble with my sex drive though lately with not feeling well it's obviously dropped but I don't think that's a direct result of the hormones.

I wish you both luck in solving this.

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Martel

interestingly enough, the pregnancy rate on the IUD with hormones is higher than the IUD without, and if i remember correctly, its even higher than on other kinds of birth control.

sage saw that a couple of nights ago online somewhere and I thought it was pretty interesting.

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Anamnesis