Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - how do you tell a girl she isn't shallow or easy?

chickentribs · 05-30-2005, 09:37 PM

Regardless of what the issue is, she is on the defensive with you now and there is exactly ONE thing for you to do. Stop selling her on it. Back up, and do your thing as only her friend and don't care so much that she buys into you. This isn't playing a game, it is truly being her friend and happy with that.

Now, man to man, I would occassionally mention girls you find attractive and go out and have fun with girls because,
a) She is moving on with her romantic life, and so should you... and
b) This keeps you out of the "friend zone" because you are out with other women and fun to be around and she will continue to consider that and see you as dating material.

Once she starts talking to you about guys she likes or has gone out with and you are sitting there being supportive and waiting for her to come around without any stories of your own - it is done.

The shallow thing sounds a bit weird, and may have just been a way for her to pull back a bit herself. Drop it. Don't mention it again. If she really believes that you think that, than it's only because she believes it a bit too, in which case you get credit for figuring it out. If she doesn't really believe you think that, you get credit for seeing through her. The only thing that mucks it up is you continuing to let it bother you, and talking to her about it.

Quit selling her / Go have fun with others / Be a good friend, but not too good.

05-30-2005, 09:37 PM	#10 (permalink)
chickentribs Addict Location: Mansion by day/Secret Lair by night	Regardless of what the issue is, she is on the defensive with you now and there is exactly ONE thing for you to do. Stop selling her on it. Back up, and do your thing as only her friend and don't care so much that she buys into you. This isn't playing a game, it is truly being her friend and happy with that. Now, man to man, I would occassionally mention girls you find attractive and go out and have fun with girls because, a) She is moving on with her romantic life, and so should you... and b) This keeps you out of the "friend zone" because you are out with other women and fun to be around and she will continue to consider that and see you as dating material. Once she starts talking to you about guys she likes or has gone out with and you are sitting there being supportive and waiting for her to come around without any stories of your own - it is done. The shallow thing sounds a bit weird, and may have just been a way for her to pull back a bit herself. Drop it. Don't mention it again. If she really believes that you think that, than it's only because she believes it a bit too, in which case you get credit for figuring it out. If she doesn't really believe you think that, you get credit for seeing through her. The only thing that mucks it up is you continuing to let it bother you, and talking to her about it. Quit selling her / Go have fun with others / Be a good friend, but not too good. __________________ Oft expectation fails... and most oft there Where most it promises - Shakespeare, W.