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sexymama · 05-29-2005, 11:59 AM

^To piggy back Lebell, here are several age appropriate examples.

At age 2, breaks vase -- "uh oh, look what happened, come help me clean it up." Then have the child hold the dust pan or take the trash out, or vacuum -- whatever s/he can do safely. (Also, "baby proof your house so other breakables are also non-touchables. It is your child's job at age two to explore and learn. Please make it safe to do so!)

At age 4, breaks vase -- "oh dear, I imagine it felt really bad when your broke that. I know I don't like it when I accidently break something. Let me help you clean it up." Then clean it up together, letting him/her sweep, vacuum, do whatever s/he can do safely. (Know that at this age the job is to figure out that consequences and actions are connected. When we do A, B happens, so, as you are cleaning, talk about how the vase broke -- but don't judge! Show sympathy for the mistake, after all we all make them!)

Age 6 and on - vase breaks out of carelessness. At this age, maybe your son/daughter gets an allowance. She/he cleans up the broken vase (or is taught to clean it up if she/he has not been taught how to clean up broken glass yet.) She/he is also asked to help replace the vase with a new one either by buying it out of his/her allowance (keep the new vase price age appropriate) or by doing an extra chore to earn the money to buy a new vase.

I have used the above method with all five of my children and the 3 that are adults all have good jobs, good ethics (they are all known as hard workers) and are happy. They have each come to me individually and thanked me for, well, let me quote from this year's mother's day card from one of my sons: "Thanks for helping to mold me into the responsible adult I am today." No parent could ask for a better compliment.

05-29-2005, 11:59 AM	#10 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	^To piggy back Lebell, here are several age appropriate examples. At age 2, breaks vase -- "uh oh, look what happened, come help me clean it up." Then have the child hold the dust pan or take the trash out, or vacuum -- whatever s/he can do safely. (Also, "baby proof your house so other breakables are also non-touchables. It is your child's job at age two to explore and learn. Please make it safe to do so!) At age 4, breaks vase -- "oh dear, I imagine it felt really bad when your broke that. I know I don't like it when I accidently break something. Let me help you clean it up." Then clean it up together, letting him/her sweep, vacuum, do whatever s/he can do safely. (Know that at this age the job is to figure out that consequences and actions are connected. When we do A, B happens, so, as you are cleaning, talk about how the vase broke -- but don't judge! Show sympathy for the mistake, after all we all make them!) Age 6 and on - vase breaks out of carelessness. At this age, maybe your son/daughter gets an allowance. She/he cleans up the broken vase (or is taught to clean it up if she/he has not been taught how to clean up broken glass yet.) She/he is also asked to help replace the vase with a new one either by buying it out of his/her allowance (keep the new vase price age appropriate) or by doing an extra chore to earn the money to buy a new vase. I have used the above method with all five of my children and the 3 that are adults all have good jobs, good ethics (they are all known as hard workers) and are happy. They have each come to me individually and thanked me for, well, let me quote from this year's mother's day card from one of my sons: "Thanks for helping to mold me into the responsible adult I am today." No parent could ask for a better compliment. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.