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I'm not sure I understand completely what your SO is saying about punishment, but I think you certainly can reinforce or discourage all kinds of behaviors at just about any age. There's really no limit to the number of ways that you can shape a child's behavior, but I agree with you that words alone are not very effective. Our daughter really doesn't respond much to any verbal threats or explanations unless she knows full well that they will be backed up by action.
We never spank or hit; rather we give time-outs (I guess you're calling this isolation), and they generally are very effective. As a toddler she would throw tantrums at the drop of a hat, and we were very strict about ignoring them or putting her in a time out until she was ready to behave. As soon as she understood better, we would explain to her during her timeouts what she did wrong and expect her to apologize and describe how she should have behaved, and promise that she would try to behave better the next time. Accompanying the explanation with a little sympathy and understanding regarding the reason she misbehaved can work wonders.
We never did the "wrapping"; that to me seems a little extreme. For a very small child, I agree that there isn't much you can do, but we did scold and give her short timeouts. They can understand what you're saying a lot more than you might think.
Discipline and punishment to me are different; I'd say punishment is a subset of discipline. Discipline is to me is things like making sure the rules are clear and consistent; establishing a predictable routine and clear expectations; making it clear that there will be consequences for misbehavior; making sure that all this is understood and explained in her language, since the rules are going to become more and more complicated as she gets older.
You might want to pick up a book or two on the subject and read it with your SO, that might provide a good springboard for developing a strategy you both can agree on.
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