I was writing something to this effect just last night, only I never finished it.
Are you my friend?
As someone who has perfected the art of being distant, I can tell you, it's not you, it's the person. The hurt that is caused is not intentional, it's kind of just how they are. If they didn't care, they wouldn't bother you with at all.
I am really bad at expressing real feelings or emotions, I will joke about anything, but getting real about anything, it's kinda like pulling teeth. For the person who sticks it out, it's worth it in the long run because they have for lack of a better term, proven their loyalty and proven they will be there. Most people cant be bothered and get frustrated and give up.
I know this type well, I've been this type for a long time... and I wish I could say it's something that they will outgrow, it could happen... Itr eally could... They don't always like being that way but mostly they don't know how else to be. With the right people they could come out of their shell, and open up - -I managed that for one person, but it was a lifelong friendship... it might happen again..
If you like her and you think she's worth having as a friend, don't give up on her, give her some space, but let her know you are there if she ever needs you... I'm just not sure waht those magic words are because I've not heard them yet...