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Welllll it wasn't that long ago that I was 15. The threat of having my room stripped kept me in line for the most part. If I broke too many rules too often I was told that everything would be taken out of my room, I'd be given three outfits, no make up, no t.v., no computer. It didn't stop me from experimenting with drugs...sex...alcohol. It did cause me to lie to my mom, resent her, push her away. I still lead a "double life" per say. My mom wants me to follow her Christian based beliefs and morals whereas I want to follow my own belief/value system.
The rule in my house is, if it's late and dark, you get a cab home, ride home, walk home with a friend. If you're going to break curfew you'd better have a reason to other then "we were just hanging out" Now that I'm older the consequence for not following rules is being thrown out. It makes me resent my mom a lot but it makes me stay in line.
I haven't really liked my mom since I was 14, I love her, I just don't like her. I probably won't like her until I'm completely moved out and independent. When you're trying to assert your independence and you have a parent that you need to support you still and abide by their rules it's frustrating.
Set up boundaries, talk to your daughter as much as possible, when she breaks a rule have conseqences and follow through with them. If she starts participating in illegal activities call the cops. Following the rules should be a responsibility that's rewarded. I wish my mom had thought this way while I was growing up. I'd behave myself. do well in school and had a curfew of 5:00 p.m. until I was about 15. Then it was like 8:00. Now, I'm 18 and it's 10:30. Don't worry about being well-liked, worry about giving this girl the knowledge and responsibility she needs to survive in the big world.
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