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Have you considered recording her during such a tirade and then when she calms down, telling her what you did, and if she agrees, you should both listen to it and discuss what she thinks of her actions and what she really wanted to get across?
Not to be used in a 'told you so' fashion, but an honest review of what she said and to try and resolve her stress at that moment.
Treat it like a football, play-by-play. If it works her up again, then stop the playback and calm it down until rational discussion resumes.
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