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As with Mal, I was with a shouter/screamer.
Our daughter seemed unmoved by it, until after we split when she started talking about "when mummy talked so loudly I couldn't play" (age 4).
It broke my heart that I'd allowed my little girl to be part of that.
Her mother is happier now, and seems not to shout anymore - although she did for 15 years with me, and did at other friends - maybe us splitting helped her to re-examine her own life. I hope so.
All I know is that my daughter is better off, and so am I. I haven't raised my voice in 2 years, and I feel better for it.
It's hard, and I know you love her, and fancy her, but it seems destructive - I hope you have the strength to bear the cost of the choice you make. Staying is going to be hard work, and going will be too.
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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