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Originally Posted by billege
Now, there's nothing wrong with getting $$ figured out. However, you can do that as a married couple just as well as a couple shacking up and pretending to be married, but without the actual responsibilies that come with being married.
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Which actual responsibilities are you referring to? Couples who are committed and living together put just as much work into a successful relationship as a married couple. The idea that marriage validates and makes the relationship more "real" is a heck of an assumption in the era of nearly 60% divorce rates and drive thru chapels. I understand that for many people religion is an important part of the committment and respect that, it just seemed a bit flippant to dismiss "shacking up" as a pretend relationship.
In regards to the OP, I do question why a couple gets engaged and sits on it? I have thought of engagement as a period of time for planning the wedding rather than a new "level of relationship". If it gives you a bit more confidence in the committment, great... but it seems pretty natural, even polite for people to ask about a date. If you really think you're too young to get married, I guess I don't understand being comfortable making marriage decisions at that age.
Every day you love each other is a great day - if others feel it is "dicking around" until you get your signed piece of paper they have no sense of what is important! Good luck!
